Flying...

 I wrote this a while back... 

So... on the subject of flying... as you all know I'm a mermaid. We swim. However I'm considering a career change to a monkey? In the meantime I'm a bird. Airlines have got to be the most unproductive behind the times business ive seen. I arrive at fresno air terminal 2 hours ahead. Since I'm a rule follower these days. At approximately half an hour before my flight to Phoenix is scheduled to board we are told that Phoenix has grounded us. Ordering us to wait to board until 430. We are scheduled to leave at 4. This puts us 1 hour past schedule. I have 45 minutes in Phoenix between the time my plane lands and the next flight is scheduled to begin boarding. This means basically when I get off the plane i will have less than 5 minutes to get to my next flight before the door closes. As you may realize I am currently disabled. The pilot is standing there at the gate and he and I banter back and forth about knowing doc brown haha. Then he proceeds to tell me this has been going on with Phoenix for months. What I witness next is a scene out of a movie as 35 people from my flight headed to various parts of the country come to the gate to ask how much time they will have to make it to the next flight. A woman starts crying because she will miss the birth of her grandchild,  a lawyer starts to panic about not making a trial. I am mildly annoyed but # 1 I run on the power of positive thinking and im already picturing myself making it onto my connecting flight #2 my boss has a track record of sending "angels" to help me and #3 its just not that serious. So the flight leaves over an hour late, no one has any idea if they are going to make it (btw im just using logic but would american airlines rather pay for 35 plus hotel rooms or have one plane wait 10 minutes?) Anyway. The people on my flight happen to be absolutely cool and helping each other out, letting those of us who need to make a flight first leave, yelling out which gate to go to it was so cool.) I exit the plane, my chair is there with the sweetest young Jamaican guy and I calmly asked him if he had any experience with with NASCAR or driving in LA. Blank blink....?? "I have to make it to b28 before they shut the door and I dont know if it's already shut so im gonna need you to push quick :-)" he says ok. Hes weaving in and out around toddlers and old people- impressed even me and I worked at dennys! Suddenly he comes up behind an impasse...3pilots, walking at a semi slow pace, side by side.. "geeezuuuus" I hear my Jamaican nascar driver mutter under his breathe and before I even think about it I hear this very loud, but pleasant, and assertive sing song voice come out of my very own mouth "single file please gentlemen!" And like a dance they glance at me, and move single file and we zoom to the gate. As we get to the gate I recognize my new lawyer friend who is headed to Milwaukee.  I hear him saying to the obviously frazzled gate attendant "johnson is here too! Dont leave without her!" Ha! The attendant yells out "gimme your boarding passes and just sitting down wherever!" I hand my driver a tip tell him he is fantastic,  look at the flight attendant and refuse my crutches "shes gonna hop! " ...and now I arrive in Phoenix in time. I think I will stick to swimming and climbing for a while after this trip.I