Proverbs 23:10 says "do not move an ancient boundary stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless". While I was reading this, I discovered several other times in the Bible when it mentions these boundary Stones. What is a boundary Stone? I mean obviously I know it's a stone set to Mark a boundary but I wondered as I was reading why this was important. Why is it so important that we don't move them and what does it mean to encroach on the fields of the fatherless? As I start to study of look up some commentaries and one of them mentions Proverbs 15:25 the Lord tears down the proud man's house but he keeps the Widow's boundaries intact well I started thinking to myself; maybe he's not speaking about physical boundaries Matthew Poole's commentary specifically says Do not enrich thyself with the injury of other men; do not invade the rights of others. Do not enrich thyself with the injury of other men.... don't make yourself better, by hurting someone else. I find it so interesting, that thought process. Isn't that exactly what we are doing though? In the early 90s when psychologists started talking about boundaries, emotionally, they were speaking about limits. Lines that should never be crossed. When we hurt others, in order to further ourselves, that's essentially what we are doing.
I'm good at unconditional love. Plain and simple. It's not hard for me to love someone regardless of their tendency to hurt me, deceive me, use me. Regardless of the bad decisions they make in life, regardless of the way they think even if we think differently. I can honestly say I've been able to overlook things most people would never ever forgive, because I love. I cannot not love people.
I used to think that meant I couldn't do anything about it when other people did things that so surpassed boundaries you would have thought the word itself never existed. I thought if I put a stop to this abuse I wasn't loving unconditionally. I was wrong.
I am asked frequently for advice in raising kids. When it comes to a spoiled child my response is this; kids like rules. They like boundaries. When you give a child hard and fast consequences for their bad decisions it makes them feel secure. Subconsciously it tells them that when the boogie man tries to take them away he would have to stand up to you! The mom who absolutely refused to back down. What easier way do you have to earn respect then to stand by your word as a parent?
Adults aren't much different. When I say to a friend "this hurts. This is why. And I love you. I want you to know I will always love you. If this continues I cannot have you in my life anymore" it teaches them respect for you and WILL bring you closer. When you allow bad behaviour to continue to effect your life in a negative way it teaches people you think so little of yourself, they may as well think little of you.
I am slowly learning how to pinpoint exactly what my boundaries are. I know I have them. I know they get crossed constantly. But I know how much happier my relationships will be when I learn to draw them out and stand true.
